ROCK

be Michael Burry >born 1971 in San Jose, CA >age 2, get eye cancer, lose the whole thing >rock a glass eye >have no depth perception but still play football >high school: Santa Teresa, ace everything, zero friends (for the character arc) 1990s: >UCLA econ + pre-med >obsessed with stocks >start posting value picks on obscure forums >become message board mod >get noticed by Vanguard and Joel Greenblatt >start a fund 1997: >Vanderbilt med school >MD achievement unlocked >Work as a doctor while moonlighting as “Dr. Doom” on stock forums >Stanford residency in neurology > gets bored of med >quit med career >take entire inheritance + family loans and launch Scion Capital 2000-2007 >Scion returns 489% crushing $spy >spot housing bubble before everyone else >beg banks for credit default swaps on subprime mortgages >"Uh, we want to bet the house burns down?" Banks: "Lmao sure, weirdo" >investors riot: "You're insane, gimme my money!" >raise gates in a side pocket so they can’t withdraw funds 2008: >Market melts down, swaps pay out >bag $100M personally, $700M for LPs >Wall Street: "How tf did he know?" >Feds + SEC up his ass >close Scion, return capital (sick of the assholes) 2010: >gets a book written about him > "The Big Short" movie gets made >Christian Bale plays you as autistic drum-banging 300IQ spastic >Overnight fame >Relaunch as Scion Asset Management, focus water/gold/farmland >portfolio hits $100M+ by 2016 2025: >become active on Twitter >publicly short $nvda >make 20% within 3 weeks >Shut down Scion >Start Substack newsletter >Generate $10 million+ run rate revenue on day 1 for sharing shitposts

khabib will rock his shit no doubt

Mag 7 circle jerk is weakening. Gotta have all 7 rock hard to keep this jerk session going. Looks like google just blew its load. Microsoft can't even get hard anymore. Nvidia is in the cuck chair.

> Here’s a strategy to get through stressful holiday gatherings. Act like a dull rock Even better than CNBC telling you to try to bore you friends and family with stock talk: Pretend youre dead like a possum

I get rock hard whenever NVDA starts dipping to $170. Eat that dip up like booty

Canada is punk rock until they have to fight a war

I need to call a doctor because my erection has lasted way beyond 4 hours. I’ve been rock solid since market open Monday.

I have been under the rock from sometime movies wise. I just saw Ariana. Tf

Did the first men who landed on Plymouth Rock also know about buying the dip 

Milk deez nuts. I'm rock hard and ready to buss.

Dude it's hard as a rock

Have you been living under a rock? Check out Google and you'll see why

Ok but I can simply log off of Reddit. Meanwhile I can’t watch anything on tv without every other commercial being about sports betting. No matter what it is, local news or jeopardy or nfl, without fail almost every commercial is hard rock bet or draftkings.

Wait what wrong with UNH? The stock didint do much... just stood like a rock.

After 2 Days, rotated out of puts back into calls. And watch it sink like a rock tomorrow. Probably use some made up CPI numbers to justify fucking retail over.

my rock is so card

In 50 years of trading, i have never heard of a more rock solid, fundamental reason for a rally than “rate cut hopes.” All in calls.

I hope none of you will know the feeling of being financially ruined by buying two SPY puts. Rock bottom man

🎶 rock the boat 🎶 🎶 don’t rock the boat baby 🎶

UNH dropping like a rock after +2,5% pre market, I mean wtf is going with this stock.

Bullish on Shiny rock

Bearish outlooks, and anxiety in general, is correlated with prey behavior. The beta must always be on the lookout for the next looming disasters so it can skitter away under the nearest rock

Like the rock on Viagra 📈📈📈

The rules are simple. Just dont be the person holding the burning hot rock when the music stops

Google has me rock hard rn

Low volume dips in after hours overnight or premarket is the same as scratching a tank with a rock

Give me HIGH VOLTAGE ROCK N ROLL

What’s the fuss with the Rock and Jason Statham having a no lose clause in their movies? I’d bet the Christian bale Batman movies would be better if he had a no lose clause against the joker and bane in every fight

*Did you write the book of love?* *And do you have faith in God above?* *If the Bible tells you so?* *Now, do you believe in rock 'n' roll?* *Can music save your mortal soul?* *And can you teach me how to dance real slow?*   *Well, I know that you're in love with him,* *'Cause I saw you dancin' in the gym.* *You both kicked off your shoes,* *Man, I dig those rhythm and blues!* *I was a lonely teenage broncin' buck,* *With a pink carnation and a pickup truck.* *But I knew I was out of luck,* *The day the music died!*

MY NAME IS KIIIIIIIIIIIID...ITS KID BABY, KIIIIID ROCK!

I love my pet rock (gold stock), he ain't do much, or move, eat, sleep or even breathe. But sturdy and reliable and shiny

No, I missed the opportunity. I'll buy some shares at rock bottom prices though.

I didn't grow up thinking eating a kebab in Istanbul is the height of punk rock I guess if you've never left your suburb he would seem pretty daring to you

Rock lobster - down! Down! Down!

I’d usually be on your side but every time this year when there’s multiple +1% or more days in a row, VIX tanks like a rock. It’s like it only actually goes up when prices come down

rock bottom, oh brother

Why the FUCK would we go down more are you bers stupid? we deadass rock bottom and rate cuts more likely.

well sure, but I would argue a system dependent on on rock bottom rates and constant liquidity injections is not healthy or sustainable. There are a lot of cracks in the private credit market in the background, they just don't get as much press as NVDA earnings

Dude… it’s over. Let the rock die in peace

Buying gold now like your an old Vietnamese lady is not some next gen smart play. It's a shiny rock ffs.

Yellow shiny rock and fake internet money both down lmao

Hey Google play your mamas on crack rock

Crash because big space rock aliens/fake aliens. Street was sent home to eat turkey and get lap dances before the end.

The Big Short II, starring Will Ferrell as a coked up bull and The Rock as his wife's boyfriend.

Alright so it appears bitch ass retail needs to get wiped out according to Wall Street. Good luck to regards who have positions more rigid than bed rock. I’m bolish 2 da max, but retail is about to jump off the proverbial cliff

We are officially in a bear market. **No one dares to buy Calls or shares now**. Even with a very very good news(NVDA), we again fell like a dumb rock. It's over.

I'm guessing it will be Kid Rock.

I’m hard as a rock right now

i'd be afraid too if i bought a digital replica of a shiny rock instead of the most profitable company in existence