FUND

If we all take our 2k and collectively buy 0dte we can act as one large shitty hedge fund for a day

his fund has been outperforming the s&p for three years straight wtf are you smoking

Budget about to be voted Tylenol doesn't cause autism anymore Japan top tech fund says AI is not a bubble We about to be so God damn green

lol Norway literally has like 300k per man woman and child in a sovereign wealth fund

Arkk invest is tesla marketing company . They push tesla being a good investment yet their own returns show they can’t be trusted. They don’t know how to set up an investment fund let alone have any idea about tesla future of stagnating profits. The shareholder returns wouldn’t even be supercharged if musk instead of being oayed 1 trillion payed tesla 100 billion of his own dollars! They would still be in trouble. If Elon salary was -10 billion (negative!) per year they couldn’t make it , still won’t work with current product line

People with $300 in their name making fun of a fund manager who manages $1.4 billion and has $300 million in his name is peak WSB

Does Michael Burry's mail order bride beat him when he makes an incorrect prediction? Maybe he should drive a bus if his fund goes under? Ligma cock cock cock cock. This is not financial advice.

Does Michael Burry's mail order bride beat him when he makes an incorrect prediction? Maybe he should drive a bus if his fund goes under? Ligma cock cock cock cock. This is not financial advice.

Im going to create a GoFundMe-style slush fund for people to donate their stimmy money, since everyone hates badman I'll sell it as some type of charity, but I'll keep most of the money and donate like 10% to homelesses

I guess it’s a gateway to opening . I don’t see why they would agree to fund government if they didn’t intend on opening it

Should I skip half a month’s brokerage contribution to fund my Amex Platinum Card that I will not use just so I can have the new mirror look?

Be a huge hedge fund

Deal to fund the gov till the 30th? We hitting the fucking snooze button?

Just gimme SPY 700 so I can go back to cash in my personal account and convert 20% of my 401k to a stable income fund, markets

Dipshits still waiting on the DOGE checks: "I can't wait for my tariff stimmy check and my health care savings fund check"

Once i make a million dollars, im gonna open a hedge fund called prestige worldwide

You'll be getting paid dividends for the rest of your life and it's basically the coolest way to fund UBI because it gives you a vested interest in making companies succeed, thereby increasing your dividend payment, rather than creating a freeloader problem. Borderline brilliant.

Some poor intern analyst at a hedge fund is trying to price in these 🥭 tweets rn

I have insider knowledge that a large hedge fund is liquidating a majority of their holdings in tech on Wednesday

I make a little more than half that but saved a lot beforehand and gamble wisely. And if I lose my weeklies next week I will take a couple months off if not maybe a year. You need to pay off any debts. Have an emergency fund, and you need to build your portfolio into something worthwhile. And then after only gamble up to 5% of your overall savings and investments

I just want a girl in finance, trust fund, 6’5, big boobs

#WWF - World Wildlife Fund = is this where wild animals wrestle each other? LMAO🤌

WASHINGTON, Nov 7 (Reuters) - The U.S. Supreme Court on Friday allowed President Donald Trump's administration to withhold for now about $4 billion needed to fully fund a food aid program for 42 million low-income Americans this month amid the federal government shutdown. https://www.reuters.com/world/us/usda-says-it-is-working-comply-with-court-order-pay-food-aid-benefits-2025-11-07/

They dont want to fund it. Plan is to take ot awake. They were testing blacklash. Its more likely they annouce using Snap funds to pay for ballroom then annoucing any help for the poors at all.

which they sue republican to get them to release snap fund. Then taco decide to go to appeal court and defy lower court order. You cant spin blame away and sanewashing when he openly brag about defying court order to release snap fund multiple time.

Government is going to open this weekend and Michael Burry is going to make his lame ass hedge fund go under. “Give me my money back, you motherfucker”

All I’m going to say is whenever I get paid and my retirement fund broker auto buys the S&P for me it’s always at ATH or right on its ass S&P to 6900 in 2 weeks

According to the FT source, 70 percent of the O’Connor fund with exposure to First Brands is expected to be monetized by year-end. In addition, a «High Grade» invoice finance fund that had no exposure to First Brands will also be liquidated. The total assets of this fund, amounting to around $600 million, are to be liquidated by the end of the year. In the financial industry, concerns about corporate financing, insolvencies, and bad debt have been increasing. Since many of these debts are securitized in various financial instruments, the effects can be far-reaching. https://www.finews.com/news/english-news/70057-ubs-o-connor-frist-brands-fonds-liquidation-swiss-banking-finance-place-2 the interesting piece is why the second "high-grade" fund that had no exposure to first brands is being liquidated. "high-grade" is basically supposed to mean there shouldn't be losses for the fund. it might be because investors aren't so confident in the "high-grade" rating and were spooked into asking for their money back

Starting to think the federal government knows it’s broke and that if we have to keep borrowing to fund it at status quo levels it all breaks. Ugly times ahead.

How do I convince my mom to sell booty pics to fund my gambling addiction

It’s time to put my kids college fund to good use and buy the dip

Wow… I really should just invest in a 3 fund ETF portfolio

I came into this week spec’ing 911’s, I will end the week waiting for the government to fund SNAP benefits again so I can eat.

And heres the worst part, they are keeping it shutdown over a few billion dollars for healthcare for illegals. (Which REGARDLESS OF IF WE FUND IT OR NOT WE WILL HAVE TO PAY FOR SINCE HOSPITALS CANT TURN AWAY PATIENTS). All the while we send tens of billions in aid to other countries.

Lots of hedge fund managers in here apparently Y’all are brilliant

$3k free cash in hand I'm almost a hedge fund now

>Japan's Largest Tech Fund Says Al Stocks Not at Bubble Well, bubble canceled, mf asked chatgpt, and it said it wasn't a bubble

We should start a WSB fund where we collectively vote for what positions to take every day

fund managers like, "shit our year end performance gonna look bad... but heyyyy, what if the market were to drop?....."

Diversify a bit homeslice. Have your degen pile and your old man pile. The old man pile just do something like schx (low cost equivalent to Voo). Put money in a money market fund so you are never forced to sell from old man pile. Do what you want with your degen pile.

Checked my account after 2 years of no play (had a kid) BORR Drilling has me up 75%. Kids college fund just got a major upgrade. Sup nerds

poor slaves have to cash out to fund daily needs. multiple over leveraged retards got liquidated or margin called, less money to buy. big money sees senses this and cooking a rug pull.

i have a trust fund waiting for me and yet i still decide to work and gamble holy fuck my life is over

1 trilly could probably fund multiple presidential campaigns just sayin

"I want to help fund that trillion dollar package, out of my way!" "No, me- it has to be my money given to the Elon!"

That's fine, cause none of us give a fuck about a trust fund baby whose mommy and daddy are behind every accomplishment and positive thing in your life.

Actually used a short dated put to hedge against my long term calls … I’m a hedge fund now

It's why I keep buying 2 week puts. Calls intra day to fund puts, keep selling when in profit and rolling further out when possible