FUND

You are a hedge fund. You ape calls EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY into Walmart with a 47 PE ratio, which means you are expecting it to grow much faster than Microsoft with a 25 PE ratio. And at the same time, you press FUCKING HARD into shorts FUCKING EVERY SINGLE DAY on Lululemon that has crashed 70% and is priced for bankruptcy even though it is growing double digits internationally. These cucks are a billion times more fucking stupid than your average wsb user

All mag7 except for apple and nvda negative cash flow negative or fleeting fcf and More and more taking out loans via bond sales to fund Ai with no line of sight of roi. Dollar/yen approaching intervention levels. Pedo admin.

Almost did this with our 20k wedding fund lol

Robinhood Ventures Fund Feb 17

Did anyone see the email about private market access through Robinhood? Sounds like we’ll be able to purchase shares in their private market fund which is interesting? Maybe?

401ks and IRAs have everything to do with it, the largest portion of holdings is with retired baby boomers who are auto selling to fund retirement. The monthly inflows from the working generation is buying/liquidity. If the street is seeing a downturn they are doing everything they can to unload their holdings on to the incoming liquidity while rebalancing the 401ks into shittier and shittier holdings, why do you think it was a huge milestone for them to allow private equity to be investible for 401ks? Bags of PE and private credit toxic trash are being unloaded on to unsuspecting retirees at top dollar. It’s clear what’s happening to anyone paying attention, the tape is holding tight since October, the tape held tight December 2024 through March 2025 for the same reason. These guys always get a heads up to profit while average joe gets fucked. Good luck staying blind and trusting the corrupt system though…

Holding precious metals miner ETFs over the weekend is enough gambling for one man. Even if it's just 1% of what's in the index fund it makes the port all swingy.

Guys this isn't a big deal, just get 6 figures of cash and sell cash secured puts on Tuesday open on these bad bois: \- $80 MSTR, 1 year DTE \- $500 SNDK, 6 month DTE Instant 40% gain, put the cash collateral in a money market fund, and use half of the 40% as dry powder for calls when the bogletards panic next week, the other half is still a guaranteed 20% return for the year. Literally no risk.

Hedge fund managers can’t figure out whether to buy or sell they’re stumped 😂😂😂

My losing streak is so bad that I bought an index fund today

They just say they do to trip up social media monitoring hedge fund AI bots (whose algorithms are most certainly not indirect collusion). They really plan for theta and puts

Insurance and pension fund portfolio managers that do not give a fuck because its someone else money lol

Hedge fund managers realizing they too will be replaced by AI lol

Too bad he gave up and closed his fund before it went down 🤣🤣

Shit. My hedge fund account has those kind of swings often! Gotta stay in the game

Who are these gay retard hedge fund managers buying walmart at 40x forward pe? Why do they still have jobs? Walmart had a lower PE before the nifty 50 crash in the 1960s that's insane

bahahaha it's only 33% of my target allocation, just in case, you know, narrative changes. I have a 3.5 year emergency fund, just in case.

Christian ETFs are designed not for “Christian companies”, just removing companies that explicitly don’t comply with some criteria that the fund issues. It’s actually an incredible business lol

Guy on CNBC saying you should sell tech right now. This is why these clown fund managers don't beat the market. Sector has been getting slaughtered lately this is when you buy not sell.

The next government needs to fund the SEC. This shit needs to stop and people need to start going to prison.

Of course the year I really get into stocks and fund my portfolio appropriately is the “off year”… just my luck it breaks trend and collapses with no recovery. Sorry guys my fault

The stock market is hilarious when you think about it : Big fund: *owns 90% of the float of all stocks* omg I need to rotate out of this because it will go down. *Dumps their shares on the market and the price goes down* Big fund: see you guys? It went down. I was right

Sure thing, elite pension fund baller.

Can I offer you an index fund in these trying times

I used to work as an equities analyst at a pension fund, and I currently have my cfa lvl 2. I have to be honest, professionals are just as regarded as you guys here, we have zero idea what is going on 100% of the time. And the boss, vp of investment doesn’t even listen to our presentation on companies we own, or want to own, he just texts on his phone. Then says great job guys at the end and tell portfolio managers ti buy more of an unrelated company that pension funds love to buy for the dividends and we already own a lot of

>`Alphabet is` [`selling a 100-year bond in the UK`](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-02-10/alphabet-begins-selling-multi-tranche-debut-swiss-franc-bond-mlgb76p8)`, part of a clutch of debt sales it kicked off this week to fund its` [`ambitions in artificial intelligence`](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-02-09/google-parent-alphabet-kicks-off-seven-part-us-bond-sale)`. It’s the first century bond issued by a technology company` [`since` **Motorola** `sold one in 1997`](https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2026-02-09/alphabet-mandates-banks-for-rare-100-year-sterling-bond)`.` They're not even selling it in $ USD. No wonder it's dumping.

Honestly when the s&p500 hits a new all time high, as it’s always designed to do so being an actively managed fund, I’ll prolly freak the fuck out and tell that a bubble is popping pre QE lol

Cathy woods' hedge fund generates yer tax writeoffs for you with that "strategy"

Why are professional fund managers dumping after a jobs report the regards here knew was cooked?!

I sold. Won’t be able to vacation for another year. Baby #4 on the way. 10k goes back into the Rolex/porsche fund

Remember the rich people used to be the hedge fund managers and those who caused the markets move like Silicon Valley tech founders and CEOs of large and complex companies, but today the rich people are OF models, tiktok therapists, and drag queens, so I guess that means you’re not making any money in the markets anymore. Puts it is…

People taking shifts behind Wendy's to fund their gambling

Plan for tomorrow is to go back and buy +2dte puts (tootie poots) yesterday; watch profits from 8:30 - 9:30 AM EST tomorrow; wait for market-open pump to fade back to crash and profits for me; when it doesn't, buy 0dte calls (Odie calls) at the top at 3:50 PM EST; hedge by selling a 100-year bond to fund my lifestyle. In a van down by the river!

Starting 2025, fund managers will easily outperform the s&p500. Like, it's pathetically easy at this point. Well over a decade of complete and utter spy dominance coming to an end. I kinda wanna hold a funeral for spy now.

He runs a hedge fund trying to scam tariff revenue refunds from businesses too. Bessent made his money shorting USD. Vance has a scam to buy up farmland from failing farmers via acre trader.

Hedge fund managers collecting all dat premium day

Threw even more of my emergency fund into ASTS, or more specifically, ASTX. Gotta love these sales.

If you were at a Hedge Fund and lost 250K, you’d get a promotion.

Witnessing trust fund babies realize they ain't as smart as they think is good entertainment.

Look at the inflow on TLT. Fund managers would literally rather light their money on fire than invest in TLT normally.

if HIMS gets to $100 I'll personally fund the lawyers for the NVO lawsuit

Selling more calls and puts tomorrow. Thank yall for continuing to fund my lifestyle.

A good ticker is actually proven to be a big factor to get investors into your fund.

Don't worry, the hedge fund bots will start something within a couple months

As with the last two rug pulls, sell gold the second this sub starts getting super hyped about it. I honestly think this has become a Hedge fund strategy.

The last two trading days have been a master class in creating exit liquidity for major fund managers manipulating the lack of understanding most people have about the stock market combined with all those lovely AI-generated headlines. First they pumped the DOW since people don't get it's just 30 stocks, many of which are defensive stocks, now they're pumping SPY and oversold tech, but they're being so strategic about it. Absolute kudos. I still don't buy this pump for a singular second, but I'll take my two days or profit from it and get the fuck out.

whose going to win AI race? the options are: \-1. An US AI company who goes all-in on scaling \-2. An Chinese Hedge fund with an AI side-business \-3. Some british regard who life streams with an AI bot

is "AI investment" actually going to AI or are they wasting it on undeclared tax haven trust fund and the occasional unsustainable data center scaling project?