FUND

Santa rally fked my port so bad I was forced to liquidate my coke & stripper fund. Rallied my ass back into 2015 money, which is Ramen delight every night.

Still not once addressing trump pardoning several convicted billionaires owed americans restitution Can throw in the first covid slush fund that he refused to sign unless no oversight was allowed but that might hurt ur feelings too

diversify is a lie told by boomers . Look at all the gain porn on here. None of the 500%+ gain are from holding ETF. Boomers only tell you to DCA index fund to boost their own 401k retirement. if you want to be rich, pick a stock u believe in n go all in.

It’s not really a narrative, it’s a conclusion I have come to after much personal experience and deep thought. I’d help fund the rocket.

A good GROWTH STOCK MUTUAL FUND

Crime is legal for 🥭 donors now so expect tsla to be pumped to whatever ridiculous level elmo needs to fund whatever batshit far right cause he will choose next.

Imagine being so rich you can fund a documentary on your enemy and then publish it on Netflix

Just like last time, they don't. They exist to prey on the gullible and intellectually retarded. Coincidentally a demograph strongly represented in both retail investors and ivy league educated discretionary fund managers.

Schwab is stupid and won't let me fund my Roth IRA yet. they dont know its 7500 this year

Who else waiting for liberation day 2.0 to fund IRA?

Stop gambling options and buy and hold a total market index fund.

Its to make your wife feel better about you losing the kids college fund

Starting a quantum trading fund. We remain perfectly neutral. We experience identical gains and losses at the exact same time. (Basically not going to trade at all and just hold your money but I think the theme alone could get me to modern day Madoff levels of wealth)

retirement fund made 20% :-D gambling account didnt do so well but i do owe taxes sooooo yeah :-(

Markets are toast in 2026 and it hasn’t even started. Say goodbye to your retirement fund as spy falls to $300

I hope the hedge fund managers choke on black eyed peas tomorrow

volatility will pick up significantly for a few weeks starting tomorrow since all fund managers will start buying and selling shit helmets on

You Trade! Why u no hedge fund owner? Disgrace! 🫵🤡

for those with kids born this year (through dec 31 2028), the mango / 530a accounts are legitimate free money. Great program for those that can take advantage. look into it. accounts can be opened and funded starting in july 2026 apparently. p.s. the 530a accounts are for every minor, not just those born between Jan 1 25 and Dec 31 2028. It's like a traditional IRA but you don't need earned income to fund it.

NVDA clinging to 0.45% like I cling to my last $10 after a Yolo. Also that OpenAI IPO poll at 35% ‘yes’? SoftBank’s out here selling their organs to fund them — that’s not a ‘maybe’… that’s a ‘they’ll IPO before the Fed cuts rates (never)’ situation. Who’s with me?

Brookfield is starting its own cloud business to lease chips inside data centers directly to artificial ​intelligence developers. The cloud business will ‌be tied to a new $10 billion AI fund that the firm is starting and a cloud company called Radiant that Brookfield will operate, the report added.

Sondervermogen fund, here we come.

ONDS up 13%. That's it? What am I, An Index fund Virgin? Give me a real green dildo.

Follow-up: Just checked my St. Louis position—this loss is dropping faster than the ratings on a bad Netflix show… But NVIDIA’s 0.75% bump has me thinking this “AI cash cow” might still have a pulse 🌱 Also, SoftBank dumping NVIDIA to fund OpenAI? I’m calling this move “selling your top-tier school district house to sign your kid up for math Olympiad… then the kid says they wanna pursue art” — chaotic, unhinged, but fully committed to the gamble. Who’s in on the bet that OpenAI drops their S-1 before Q2? Loser buys the other a soda!

Wait a sec—NVIDIA’s up 0.75% while St. Louis gets curb-stomped 3.93%? The market’s picking favorites harder than Netflix cancels shows. Also: 35% think OpenAI IPOs by 2026 end? SoftBank’s out here liquidating NVIDIA (THEIR OWN PROFIT MACHINE) to fund them—this isn’t a ‘maybe’… this is a ‘they’re gonna IPO before the Fed cuts rates (which is never)’ situation. Who’s with me betting OpenAI drops their S-1 before Q2 2026? 👇

Santa Claus rally skipped St. Louis (the 3.93% drop is brutal) but NVIDIA’s holding steady—guess the AI gravy train’s still chugging. Also, that OpenAI IPO poll? 35% ‘yes’ feels low… SoftBank’s been dumping profitable stocks just to fund them, so I’d bet they’re sprinting to go public before 2026 ends. Side note: The Fed rate cut poll at 12% ‘yes’? C’mon, they’re gonna drag this out like a bad Netflix finale.

during covid post-bailout and money printer go brrrr, the day wsb regards turned to passive index fund + call holder perma bols, that day was the top.

If you don’t make money, you don’t have to fund Somali daycare centers

Dude, I just looked at your loss porn posting. Sorry to hear this. Hang in there. Just dollar cost average every month into a S&P type fund and forget about trading. You’ll be a millionaire and will be able to retire happy.

Incredible insight. Have you considered starting a hedge fund?

some fund has blatantly parked their sell at $9.65 on $MARA as this is the funniest manipulation i’ve ever seen

Because there’s no option in your 401k to pick “Vanguard Short Fund”. It’s infinite money glitch for MMs.

“Fund managers will be chasing performance and be forced to buy in to pump the market into the end of the year”…..I heard this bs about 50 times since October

shit's boring gonna come back in new year when all fund managers start buying and selling shit happy new year degens

Who had better returns, Michael Burry's hedge fund or Somalia day care? [](https://x.com/EJGSH/status/2005998922213515744)

Tim Walz slush fund appreciates it

Already invested my guy just talking about the money market fund dry powder. Have plenty of VOO.

My moves for tomorrow are to continue donating money to hedge fund manager's cocaine habits.

now imagine that the poor girl who died in a blaze in her family's $4m estate is getting a go fund me of so far $160k so they can get housing.

I bet there is some MM or Hedge fund who is about to turn the markets to such a shitfest that wsb regards will make memes such as "WHO WANTS A CIRCUIT BREAKER" "YOU GET A CIRCUIT BREAKER" "YOU TOO GET A CIRCUIT BREAKER" "EVERYONE GETS A CIRCUIT BREAKER"

This is how the conversations went at Mar-a-Lago: “If you lower gas prices for the poor people, I will force the government to buy Intel and bail you out.” “ if you buy stocks and lift the market, I will force the government to allow Oracle to run TikTok” “ if you allow my son-in-law’s hedge fund to invest early in your private firm, I will give you the best contracts over the next three”

low cost index fund

This is the most obvious market OPEN BIG DUMP by hedge fund

You guys ever think what you could do with all the time wasted trying to get rich with options when it’s obviously not going to be any faster than just buying and holding a broadly diversified index fund and most likely will just lead to complete and total collapse of everything you’ve ever loved and worked for your entire life up until the very moment you discovered the high of options? Yea, me neither.

Starting my Somalian Hedge Fund, looking for my seed investors 🧑‍🦼‍➡️

JP Morgan, they own a lot of Silver because they took it over when some bank/hedge fund went bankrupt iirc.

Breaking: Silver misinformation at "all time high", UN announces a "three trillion dollar global silver fund" to secure enough silver to pay fact checkers in case other currencies are devalued

Yes so you can get a white collar job to fund your fds

Fund my port with my fantasy winnings

Over the last two years my private apartments fund I invest in has had to do two major capital calls. About to have to buy in again or force massive dilution. People are underestimating the treasury and Fed pushing down rents and interest rates. I think they attack asset prices next to support bonds so they can stop QE.