FUND

Took all my money out of the stock market and put it into hard assets. Namely 100% of my port is now in frozen lobsters. I've spent most of my emergency fund on freezers and electricity for storage, my garage is almost completely full and I'm having trouble hiding the smell. How do I break the news to the wife? Would she take the news better over a lobster 🦞 dinner, or be mad at me for eating our equity?

I sold ACHR to fund my Pokemon addiction and I regret that. So I just FOMO’d on my Roth IRA for 12 shares and I’m pretty sure that is the top.

fking trust fund losers hope they lose it all

4 years ago retirement was essentially out of the cards for me. I was working dead end jobs to pay for expenses after getting a degree in a field I didn’t care for. A few pivots later and now im earning a high salary, on pace to retire at 60ish But man, every day I fight the little devil on my shoulder telling me to full port into one stock or one option play 3 fund portfolio, guide me to the promised land.

Wsb as a hedge fund would rule wallst

I don’t have even 1m and I’m too scared to full port lol. I have a 3 fund portfolio, some gold and little positions here and there. I want to be a big boy and yolo one day but muh retirement!

Pretty sure my 401k doesn’t own any ASTS and I’m basically a better fund manager than they are.

#In the old days we used to hang bank robbers but now we make them MMs and fund managers LMAO🤌

Every hedge fund, back office, family office, institution, bank, trading desk, central bank, government, corporation, individual, and anyone exposure to stocks is long and making money at a clip not ever seen before. Why would the market rug pull itself if everyone is on the same side of the trade?

That AMD movement could easily have detonated some hedge fund being smartass with shorts

I’ve made more in 10 days of managing my 401k myself in an IRA than I made all last year keeping it in that bullshit target date fund

Girls be working retail and their dating app profiles look like they're a trust fund kid traveling the world

Its not really life savings at 20 Its daddy's trust fund money

Wife is kinda hot. Have 3 kids. 1.7m house. Trust fund. Miserable

me then: "Invest into this safe index fund and have a nest egg for when I get old." me now: "I will not be buying the S&P top."

You don't need a retirement fund if you are never going to retire.

checkout the story of samuel israel on youtube. pulled off the biggest hedge fund ponzi in history but it happened at the same time as bernie madoff so no one paid attention. was a family man, supported local synagogues but secretly took massive losses on trading and just turned it into a ponzi. his cheating schemes were very complex.

The first quant fund ever formed was started by a group of people who’s initial plan was to cheat casinos in Las Vegas, using a version of the worlds first calculator

I invested in an index fund, a small startup called SPY. I have to admit it’s scary investing in something no one else would even dream of

Gotta fund those 0dtes somehow

Idk how big fund managers take such big L's, risk even more, and then find a way to net the year positive My dubs are small but the L's are fat and annoying

Regarding returns on AI expenditures, the Big Tech firms "say they don't care whether the investment has any return, because they're in a race…Surely that in itself is a red flag," Perkins says. He sees two major issues: increased leverage to fund costly AI infrastructure and few opportunities to make money once that infrastructure is built and paid for with debt. Zoom out: Big Tech is turning to private debt markets and special purpose vehicles. The catch? That kind of borrowing doesn't have to be reflected on balance sheets. "SPVs mean companies like Meta do not need to show the debt as their debt," Perkins writes in a note. He likens today's financing tactics to the subprime era when firms shifted risk off the books to reassure investors. Meta seeks $29 billion via private capital for its AI data center buildout. Other tech giants are tapping the public market for debt. Oracle recently issued $18 billion in debt to fund its AI and infrastructure expansion.

Some of you need to understand that it’s essentially a mathematically impossibility for the market to go down until January. Every fund manager on earth is behind the benchmark and is systematically forced to put liquidity in. Thats why the V’s are getting faster and more viscous

I got $1000 to shoot into this casino what moves would you do to make the most money in this market? dividend fund? ETF ?? SPY?? QQQ? or YOLOS?

You don’t think all the coked out hedge fund managers are going to slam SPX 0DTE calls on that fake out and make 300% gains on a Friday?

Please tell me why I shouldn’t go full port into the Cardone Capital Real Estate Bitcoin Fund.

Always buy the hype stocks - they pay off better than your retirement fund could ever accumulate

Three back to back years of 20% gains. To think that most regards here would be far better off parking their money in an index fund as opposed to blowing up their ports 😂

$GOOGL TO BUILD $4B DATA CENTER IN ARKANSAS Google will invest $4B to build a data center on 1,000+ acres in West Memphis, its first in the state, creating thousands of jobs. It also launched a $25M Energy Impact Fund for local efficiency projects and workforce development.

Start a trust fund.

Start a go-fund me so I can make more dumb trades. 💩

My port’s basically a charity supporting hedge fund manager’s yacht payments and cocaine habits at this point.

I'm seriously thinking of YOLO'ing all my emergency fund on RDDT

Can’t wait for electric bills to be $9k a month so we can fund AI memes

Remember when Trump had that interview in the White House after that day in April where we got the biggest green candle? The one with all the old rich people (fund owners and the like), where he said "this guy made a billion, and this guy made a billion"? My tinfoil take: He told them to put the algos in pump mode, "or else". It's my tinfoil-canon reason for why the market can't tolerate any meaningful dip. Calls. 👏🏻

1920-2024: Buy spy index fund and forget about it 2025: Buy tsla and forget about it

Chat really doesn't learn do they... stop getting fucking baited by a poker player. You dumb fucks just told me what your fund is buying... thnx for the alpha again.

Sir, everyone who follows me knows I'm probably not dumb, but I play it. Smart people play dumb. It's just fucking hilarious when a dude who runs a $20-40b fund gets caught. I got a few. No meme. I've had more "rich fucks" in my dm's than ya'll think. Turns out some of them are interested in paper and how he plays. Why?? -> because he's winning

context: some monkey with "-CEO" name on his account got baited. Monkey lol. He immediatley deleted his shit, but I saw. I did \~30s of DD. He runs a \~40b fund. lol. Don't do that sir, we play poker. You revealed your hand.

Don't get baited by a shitposter. If you do you're actually regarded. Bonus points if you run a fund you monkeys. I caught more than one of ya'll, thanks for punting me over a milly in alpha. Thnx

Added NFLX and AMZN to the fund today.... Wen Moon?

No hedge fund will ever short this market again, and nobody holding stocks will sell ever again. This is the only conclusion I can make from today's price action.

#In the old days they used to hang bank robbers. Now we make them fund managers and market makers LMAO🤌

its so tempting to just throw my emergency fund in this only go up market but i know if i did that, market would crash next day

What’s with this volume? Was unaware hedge fund managers are government employees.

"But.... but premarket WAS RED!" Some regarded Ber, probably.  Keep on betting against the third industrial revolution you guys.  Hedge fund managers wholeheartedly thank you for your service.  Maybe the US will enter in a recession by the end of the year 😂. Keep on holding onto that sweet deprecating cash so you can panic buy at the top in 4 years, just moments before the bubble bursts!

Greatest deal maker in the world couldn't make a deal to fund the government he's in charge of lmao it's over

this is America, we love free markets. That’s why we: - use a sovereign wealth fund to take stakes in companies - pressure companies with political consequences for extrajudicial dealings - allow alogos to trade for institutional capital - bailout companies with taxpayer dollars (for them to continue to buyback stock and golden parachute useless CEOs) - make it illegal to not have certain insurance policies - circumvent congressional proceedings to impose taxes on American citizens at-will - use market circuit breakers Did someone say circuit breakers?

Can I still use my EBT card to fund my account?

You’d be surprised how many people at my job don’t know what an index fund is, and rather pay a guy to underperform the S&P 500 😂