FUND

Ppl been like this since Covid Expecting an index fund to behave like 🌽

>Goldman Sachs’ John Flood says hedge fund positioning could fuel a sharp stock surge if good news emerges. Speculative bulls have high gross exposure (307%) while heavily shorting ETFs and index futures, creating right-tail upside risk.

at what point in this game do i get to put my clients funds in an index fund and take a 1% cut?

Guys my mom said she won’t fund my gambling addiction anymore. What do i do

I've got chunk of it in my "no gambling allowed" retirement fund. Pays a good dividend. I don't believe a single one of the boring stocks in that fund have ever been memed in WSB. Well, except for Wendy's.

Relatively stable and generally does ok during downturns, it’s functionally equivalent to a bond fund, more for the dividend income than growth of principle.

A fund must Soros and defeat the tyrannical US treasury

Bessent is shorting oil futures with our tax dollars? No one is more qualified for this job than the former hedge fund manager that lost 90 PERCENT of the fund’s assets

From White House Twitter account USA to Send Howard Lutnick and the epstein island boys on a little snorkeling trip in the strait to scoop up those mines LUTNICK VOLUNTEERS SAYING THE SUPREME LEADER IS THE BIGGEST BLACKMAILING CREEP HE EVER MET NVM TWEET TAKEN DOWN...SOURCES CITE JARED KUSHNERS NEW 50 TRILLION DOLLAR IRAN BACKED VENTURE FUND AS TOTALLY NOT THE REASON AT ALL

Dear mr algo quant fund. Why dont you stop buying into a market that crashes down on every single tweet and news. Dont propose like we are in a bull market with no war, when you are then shitting your pants on every single little tweet. I propose to just wait until everything has cleared out and then shoot your shot again on pumping this market. Maybe also just sell this thing off and dont buy every single dip. Would also be beneficial for my puts. Thanks

Cliffwater's $33 billion private credit fund to see over 7% redemptions

well I'm honored by your question, but I have no idea how to calculate such a thing. I figure there's a room full of people 100 times smarter than me at JP Morgan, Goldman Sachs, Bloomberg and every major hedge fund and they already built 27 different prediction models for this in 1989 and even they don't know the answer.

Salesforce going to sell $25 billion in debt to fund buybacks. Sounds bullish 😦🤌

What if I sold enough calls to fund a debased lifestyle for a few weeks and then did nothing?

Its impressive that youre down on an index fund thats up 20% from last year at this time. 

All in money market fund. Eff this.

Bessent playing hedge fund manager as the treasury sec

“Hey so, we started another war in the Middle East, there’s private credit AND ai bubbles, and the country is shedding jobs at the fastest rate since the GFC” Fund manager: “time to buy tech stocks.”

Sailor with his magic beans fund truly confirms that this is the most regarded timeline

Amazon looking to raise up to $42B in bonds to fund AI, capex buildout

One thing that helps with trading emotionally is to have an emergency fund of at least $7 million set to the side

Salesforce is issuing bonds to fund buybacks, so basically levering up on margin. Marc Benioff is one of us guys. Edit: This is beyond regarded for a company by the way and a huge red flag.

whats the news on AVGO? Seems flushed out suddenly after hitting +2% this morning. Also, some regard bought 3000 of 293 put option that are super short dated. Have 150k in a 2x fund (AVL) and getting uneasy.

####**Bill Ackman’**s hedge fund, **Pershing Square,** 🤡 filed for an **initial public offering** at the **New York** Stock Exchange, a regulatory filing showed Tuesday. # Shares will trade under the **ticker “PS.”** 🤡

Mods are hedge fund shills

Bill Hwang? Is that you? When will you set up another fund? Im interested in buying

No such thing as circuit breakers for a private credit fund retard.  They stopped withdrawals.

I full ported puts and could have made a decent profit but ofc i was greedy... hate my life. Thats about 2 weeks of working hard just donated to some hedge fund!

Nah I just stuck most of my money in a money market mutual fund and called it quits months ago. I'm outperforming SPY lol.

40% layoffs. Stock is 10% up. Debt is more that equity. His son dreams big so all you have to do is to sell your stock to fund his dreams like a good dad

Yeah I found a bunch more. Over 100K of the $300c same date. Over 200M worth. Guessing a hedge fund. Crazy shit.

How many people does Larry need to layoff to fund his son's dreams? Stupid bankers are not cooperative

Imagine how happy and satisfied Michael Burry (Christian Bale in The Big Short) is right now? He shut his hedge fund down and dipped a few months ago.

Sometimes i go on other subs mention here, and that value investing one cracks me up. I wonder how the people that keep posting that reddit is undervalued and will moon soon are doing. hope they didnt put bobby's college fund in it.

probably already leaked to his hedge fund pals that they will be declaring victory soon

Your examples are the past two years in a bull market. You are not seeing what I am saying. You are making a bet that we will stay in a bull market, leaps are not zero risk. Edit: just saw you made a bunch of money on leaps and now I assume you think you’re a genius. There is a reason that every hedge fund doesn’t do only this. Enjoy being humbled by Mr.market.

I mean at this point Bloomberg, NYT are just market manipulators and nothing more. Hedge fund calls them, my position is going south - no problem we will publish any bullshit article Short interest is high on AI infra play and you know these two companies will make a lot of money publishing just bullshit

It's only for confirmed tarnished ones that have been used to fund Russia and Iran for now so most are safe

It is funny how orange man was berating India China for buying Russian oil and helping them fund war. Putting extra tariffs for that reason. Now literally every country is trying to buy russian oil and will always have them as a backup to avoid this shit. What a master stroke.

With all the doom and gloom just keep buying the lower it goes. The end of the world is always going to be the day after tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow that day, and so forth. But stocks will eventually go up. I am a ber and have puts to fund my new bol mindset

Selling SPY shares to fund my gambling addiction

Executive order to seize American 401ks to fund bombs for world peace

That’s a semi liquid fund, they knew there would be limits, but didn’t expect them to be fully enforced I guess

markets are forward looking. unless china and russia join in this is just chop. hedge fund joos like this

I will keep realising losses so i don’t have any taxes to fund these nonsensical bombs 😡

It's impossible to know anything. Some fund may hold a ton of an uncorrelated tech stock but needs to sell it all to cover some other margin call.

JaneStreet should fund a private Iranian militia and short some spoos

Boomers are gonna sell their houses to fund their million dollar retirements, leaving their children to deal with trickle down economics.

Just picturing some hedge fund giving the tuld margin call speech tonight. Might be over. Need a taco asap

My port will be Down 150% by morning and I have an interview with a hedge fund tomorrow. Good thing I loaded a second port with puts to show them!