CME

#Breaking: 🥭 to sacrifice pardoned turkeys at the CME to please the server gods 🙏 🤲 🙏

#Breaking: Jensen Huang spotted at the CME data center personally blowing air on the servers to help the cooling effort

This is what the chain looks like without market makers. I bet they pulled the plug on their algos with the CME outage this morning

\>vix doing weird shit and fucking over options prices \>low volume \>CME market fuckery ideal time to watch in the sidelines, grab popcorn and not trade.

Futes are so hot it melted CME.

What happens if CME announces a second 'cooling issue' and shuts down the markets

CME just made silver mad. You wouldnt like it when it gets mad

Mr precedent a second CME has hit the stock futures

gold and silver dgaf about CME

The CME Group are scammers. No valid reason why commodity futures trading was halted. Just ‘technical issues.’ Coincidentally, just as #Silver is about to breakout.

Someone at CME tried to save their silver shorts, apparently slamming is no longer working

Guess cme wasn't gonna let the stock mkt open before it 😂

CME getting too hot.

Theta burn was so hot it took down CME

CME must’ve hired people from Ubisoft 

The AWS effect (n.) | noun | Definition: The phenomenon where the share price of a stock rises when said stock has a technical fault, due to people realising how important the function of the stock is. Example: “CME is down today, but thanks to the AWS effect their share price is rising”

The CME servers failed the Does it Play Doom test.

Mr. CME, gap up this cock.

Futes still closed lul, CME garbage

Breaking - CME employees instructed to never use their servers to play call of duty again

\>CME futures halt due to server issues \>the US has a bucket list of crises like consumer debt crisis, regional banking crisis \>Banks like wsb regards essentially bought synthetic call options on yen via the whole yen carry trade shit \>Japan has debt issues and will probably be forced to inflate/de-value the yen to pay debt \>everythingisfine.jpg

You would be in jail for eternity if you committed this level of "neccessary maintenance" on your own trading accounts, fuck you CME 

Can't believe what a shiiit show cme is

Burry seen leaving the scene of the CME warehouse with a can of gasoline in hand, fleeing towards a wendy's

Calls on CME

\>futures are closed due to CME data center issues \>some quant traders are wsb regards on steroids (knight capital for example) I guess some trading algo found the maximally regarded trading strategy and DDOS'd the CME by accident.

HOLY SHITE imagine is a immegrant attacked the CME data center cooling LMAOOOOOO BRO WOULD BE ALL OVER IT NOW WITH A SWAT TEAM

The volatility spike is going to be so bad that only a fking algo would be able to trade the high peaks and low valleys. No volume now because CME supposedly down, my ass. As soon as markets open its gonna go up and down like a chicken head and all these MMs are gonna make bank on retail trying to panic exit.

Futures halted due to CME data center cooling issues

Someone give me an ETA on this CME fix?

someone tried to smash-and-grab CME stocks. typical Chicagoan

#CME SCRAMBLING TO TURN OFF MANIPULATION ALGO - FOX AND FRIENDS

CME has options on futures but not on stocks directly, I meant stock options

CME data center needs to switch from NVDA GPUs to Google TPUs if it doesn't want to burn the entire building down.

Okay CME… it’s not funny anymore

Sir, a second red dildo has hit the CME

imagine working at CME today having to bring your TI-85 and yellow pad and mechanical pencils

CME doesn't control options as far as I know

Yes, regular equities for sure until 1 pm. Forex and brokertec restored at CME; no word on options and futures yet

Bunch of boomers at the CME, have they tried unplugging it and plugging it back in?

My VIX calls will print because of dum cme

Ya'll roast, deepfry, or cook your turkey at the CME?

CME is down so we can all finish our leftover turkey in peace

CME shut down cuz my calls were getting too hot

metals said go and CME said absolutely not

CME group had all 24 data centers go down due to "cooling issues"? That's sus

CME activated diamond hands mode

NVDA hit the secret off switch on the CME boards.

How the fuck does the cme go down on low volume holiday trading

CME & COMEX have triple redundant setups in their data centres and cooling systems ..ensuring no down time This is a cover for something